Every week I will endevour to give you the 411 on the new ARIA chart. (That would be Australian Record Industry Association to the unintiated. It's also a kind of opera. So there's, like, a totally clever music pun! *cough*)
Singles Chart
1 "INNOCENT EYES" Delta Goodrem
Hooray! Delta has her third No.1!
(But don't listen to what Sony tell you, she hasn't equalled Kylie with her first three singles topping the charts ... she had that flop single "I Don't Care".)
And she kicked those goth freaks to the curb! Yay!
2 "BRING ME TO LIFE" Evanescence
Whatever.
"I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT" Busta Rhymes and Mariah Carey
I like this song a lot. And thanks to Busta, Mariah has her first hit in what seems like a very long time. Poor, insane, Mariah.
4 "INTUITION" Jewel
She used to be all folksy, and now she's all
sexy. No, really, she is! See, she's dancing under the firehose in the video!
Hey, does anybody know the Heimlich Maneuver?
5 "FALLING" Candice Alley
Candice is one of those 45 local acts that pops up every year and the record company sends media pretty press kits and tells them they'll be huge. Except, unlike 43 of those acts, she actually has a decent hit that radio is actually playing. Who woulda thunk it?
6 "UNITED STATES OF WHATEVER" Liam Lynch
Best thing about this song: it's over in 90 seconds.
7 "FIGHTER" Christina Aguilera
Some people say this song is about Jermaine Dupri - who produced tracks for Xtina's album that never made it on there - and some think it's about her dad. I choose to believe it's about Britney. Just because I hate her.
8 "IN DA CLUB" 50 Cent
You know, when I last updated this site, this song was No.1. That was
1 million years ago and it's still in the top 10. I mean, what's
up with that?
9 "FAVOURITE THINGS" Big Brovaz
A.K.A.: How to turn a silly song into a very, very crap one.
Am I the only one who is
very over hearing about bling? Why can't they rap about their beyatches again?
10 "I'M GLAD" Jennifer Lopez
I'm not.
Australian Album Chart
1 "INNOCENT EYES" Delta Goodrem
She's kocked off Vavanasents AND Metallica? Delta, I could pash you!
Plus, she's No.1 single and album for about, oh, the 15th time. It's going to be a very Delta ARIAs this year, isn't it?
2 "ST ANGER" Metallica
In these uncertain times (*cough*), it's nice to know some things never change; I hated them when I was 9, I hate them now.
3 "DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE" Beyonce
Still not as good as Kelly. Still doesn't see she is being used by Jay-Z who doesn't have a career without her. Still looks awful in her new video.
PS: Pssst, Beyonce, you seem to have dropped you surname!
4 "COME AWAY WITH ME" Norah Jones
Hey Norah, Starbucks just called, they want you to release another album now.
5 "FALLEN" Evanescence
Dear Creed,
There's a secretly Christian band I hate more than you now.
Love Scott
6 "ON AND ON" Jack Johnson
It's funny that Jack named his album after what it feels like to listen to.
7 "HAIL TO THE THIEF" Radiohead
Still overrated? Check.
Still boring? Check.
Still have the wonkiest-eyed singer in all the land? Check.
8 "HOME" Dixie Chicks
I like them. Just not their music.
9 "BIRDS OF PRAY" Live
Yawn.
10 "0304" Jewel
Does anybody else feel like Jewel has modelled her newself on Usher? Think about it; she 'forgets' to wear clothes in her videos, her album title is four numbers, her ... oh, that's about it.
posted by Scott at 12:30 PM
Cheese Chartbusters
Every week I will endevour to give you the 411 on the new ARIA chart ... etc., etc. ...
1 "IN DA CLUB" 50 Cent
My favourite things about 50 Cent:
* He was a crack dealer at 12.
* He has been shot 9 times.
* He wears a flack jacket everywhere he goes.
* Because he's been shot 9 times.
2 "ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID" t.A.T.u.
They're
still alive? I hate their version of "How Soon Is Now?" The Smiths rule, but are clearly coverable as I quite like the Love Spit Love version (aka the
Charmed song).
3 "LOST WITHOUT YOU" Delta Goodrem
Dear Delta,
Hi!
Love Scott xox
PS: Say hi to Lea for me.
4 "ALL I HAVE" Jennifer Lopez featuring LL Cool J
All
I have is a gut-full of this song, frankly.
5 "NU FLOW" Big Brovaz
Why would you name yourself after such a crappy show? Who just stole it from a book? And then mis-spell it in a lame attempt to appear all
street. As if.
PS: I am a BB addict. Love it.
6 "BUMP, BUMP, BUMP" B2K featuring P. Diddy
Best thing about P.Diddy: I buy Sean Jean stuff for my Dad. His friends don't get the joke. But I do. He got mad at me once when I asked him if he knew who P.Diddy was. "Of COURSE I do!" he said. And then, without missing a beat; "Why
did he and J-Lo break up?"
7 "YOU PROMISED ME (TU ES FOUTU)" In-Grid
Now, thanks to 2DayFM's TV ads, whenever I hear this song I think of that fat guy dancing in his boxer shorts. BECAUSE I DIDN'T HATE IT ENOUGH ALREADY.
8 "MESMERIZE" Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
In the video, they try to take off the final scene of
Grease (when they sing "You're The One That I Want"). But it looks crap and Ja isn't even trying.
9 "LOVESONG" Amiel
Wow, I didn't think this song would go top 10. I like it and all, but I've only heard it on the radio about once.
Remember when Amiel was on
Raw FM?
With Nadine Garner, whom I love.
10 "GET THE MUSIC ON" Sophie Monk
When are Tiffani and Belinda's singles coming out?
I think they will be better.
Honourable Mentions
Not Top 10, but in need of further disection:
20 "I BEGIN TO WONDER" Dannii Minogue
NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
27 "2 BEAUTIFUL" Emmanuel Carella
I kinda like this song. But I don't know why, because it's pretty crap. It's kinda '80s - but not good '80s and not like an actual '80s song.
I thought the guy was from Europe or something when I first saw the video. The song has an "I'm from Europe and just learnt English - like my song?" feel to it. Which isn't bad. But the pretending the broom is a microphone thing in the video? Is.
Molly Meldrum signed him and probably thinks he will be the next Peter Andre. Hmmm. Or the next Juno Roxus.
29 (new entry) "LIGHTS OUT" Lisa Marie Presley
I like this song. It's bland and all, but still good. I mean, she's no Julian Lennon, but give her time.
No.1 Album
"INNOCENT EYES" Delta Goodrem
Yay!
posted by Scott at 4:00 PM
